Pivot.

Confession: I have not sat down and watched an episode of “Friends” from beginning to end. I’ve watched sections of episodes and I’m very far from being a true, die-hard “Friends” fan.

I know, I know, it’s blasphemous! Growing up in the 90’s, this is unheard of.

But what I am a fan of is (what I call) the ‘Pivot’ episode (Actually called “The One with the Cop”, Season 5, Episode 16). Even more specifically the moment of the episode where Ross wanted to buy a huge couch, declines delivery due to the extra charges, and hauls it back to the apartment with Rachel. Chandler ended up having to help the two in trying to maneuver the couch up a very small stair well. This endeavor leads Ross to demanding the other two to ‘pivot’ multiple times. In the end, the couch gets cut in half and Ross returns it for a measly $4 (I’m surprised he got anything!).

If you haven’t seen the clip, see it here (for reference of course): 

‘Pivot’ is a short, five-letter word that describes a lot of things and when you say it like Ross in an authoritative manner, you pay attention. 

As you can tell on Ross, Rachel, and Chandler’s faces, pivoting sucks. I’ve never moved an obnoxiously large couch a flight of stairs before (although I did manage to fit one in an apartment elevator in college), I can say that life forced me to pivot several times. I can also honestly say that it does, indeed, suck. Why does it suck? Because of the unknown. As a person who carried around a planner and several shades of neon highlighters to color code assignments, pivoting can be tough. There comes a shift that forces you to change with the unknown and you can’t predict the outcome.

Pivoting is more than likely unexpected. I always forget that even though unexpected change happens, you’re still keeping one foot in place to help you anchor your way through life’s situations. You keep one foot still on special and strong relationships. You keep one foot steady on the hobbies you love and people who enrich your soul. That pivot foot keeps you grounded.

I wanted to share four things I learned about pivoting. I hope you can relate to each of these points and I hope it helps to ease anxiety caused by constant changes happening in our world.

1. Pivoting can be scary:

I mean having both feet firmly planted on the ground is stable and safe, right? Right! You know where you are in life at that point and feel comfortable enough to say “I’m happy” or “I’m content”. Having two feet evenly on the ground provides a stability that can help you grow. There’s a flow with work, family, and hobbies that become a steady cadence each day. Pivoting disrupts all of that. It disrupts your “happy place” and the unknown looms over your life. You’re expected to change your plans on the drop of a hat. And what I think is worse, is that you never know, how long the current pivot is going to last.

Regarding the clip, Ross, Chandler, and Rachel are carrying a large, awkward and heavy couch and can hardly see where they’re going. Rachel and Chandler trust Ross to blindly lead them where to go. It’s scary not being able to see where you’re going during a pivot. The unknown can be scary. But recognizing the fear that comes with it opens your mind to so many possibilities, leading to my next point.

2. Pivoting can be beautiful:

Pivoting can be beautiful! I say this with an exclamation mark and emphasis on ‘can be’ because think about the possibilities and opportunities pivoting opens to you. Let’s imagine this scenario: your feet firmly planted on the ground for YEARS. Everything goes to plan. Everything is steady. Everything flows. But here’s the kicker: how do you grow? How do you mature? How do you experience the nuances and spontaneity that life offers if you’re stuck?

In the working world, what if a better offer from a different job happens? Do you take a leap of faith or do you let it pass because you’re comfortable where you are? What if your hobbies are looking more and more like a career? Do you take the chance and go on your own or do you stay because the change is scary?

In life, what if your personal relationships with your family changes when a stunning secret comes to light? What if your significant other wants to spend their whole life with you? What if a new friendship starts?

These are the beautiful moments that pivoting brings: new experiences, new skills, new relationships, new talents, new happiness and beneficial growth that you would never have dreamed of if you didn’t go with the flow and pivot.

3. Pivoting is not easy:

It’s not. I’m not going to pretend like it is. I always felt that if you approach life with an open mind and expect change to happen, things can become a little easier. At least a little less stressful. Ease doesn’t necessarily bring progress either so why not recognize the changes happening and evaluate the next step?

I faced challenges in my life that I denied. Instead of facing the situations with an open mind, I decided to pretend that they didn’t happen. It made those situations so much more difficult. I didn’t know how to cope. I didn’t know how to bring myself out of the hole that I dug myself in…and I spiraled into a darkness. It lead to restless, sleepless nights. It lead to spontaneous crying. It lead to small and random panic attacks. It lead to self-doubt that still bothers me today (although not as much). It wasn’t until I decided to open my eyes and look at the situation at face value and accept the change.

It certainly wasn’t an easy thing. I think at one point I became Chandler telling life to “Shut up, shut up, shut up!”.

4. Pivoting cultivates resiliency:

Oh. man. Pivoting truly shows you how resilient you are! Shifts bringing changes to your life’s flow and balance can be tough but don’t you feel different afterwards? There’s an air of strength when a similar situation comes to tackle you and the next time you’re slightly more prepared to face it head-on.

At the end of the clip above, they realized (after being super frustrated about the situation) that their pivot didn’t work and they wouldn’t be able to get the couch up the stairs. In fact, they had to call the fire department and the couch was cut in half. I’ve certainly had situations where the current change I was experiencing had to be scrapped. It had to be cut in two in order for me to move on and get to the other side. I was stuck during a pivot and I didn’t know what to do so I scrapped the situation and made an adjustment. So what’s the next step if you’re stuck during a pivot? Make an adjustment and pivot on the other foot. 

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When it comes to the business of life, pivoting isn’t an easy shift but the spontaneity it brings can be a fruitful thing. Inevitably, pivoting can either positively or negatively impact you when forced. So how should you handle this change? It depends on the type of person you are. For me, my first trick is to think with an open mind and heart. The second, and most important (to me) is to look at the things I’m holding onto with my pivot foot and be humbly grateful for what I do have to keep me grounded.

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Guest author: Erica PS Gollhardt

Erica currently resides in Sheboygan, Wisconsin with her son and husband. She received her MA in Psychology from Cardinal Stritch University and her BA in Psychology and Biological Sciences from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. She loves hanging out with her friends (including their dogs), her family, and photography. Erica loves the outdoors (hiking, fishing, canoeing) especially visiting the northwoods, up nort’ in Wisconsin. You can learn more about her on Instagram or LinkedIn.