My Weight: Part Two
I went home and cried after that appointment with the doctor. How was I going to lose weight when I knew that obesity ran in my family? I was screwed.
Except…a fire was lit. Just a small one, with a couple of sticks, but enough to get me heated up. I would NOT end up like my mother; diabetic and in pain every day from the multitude of other conditions that crept up. But what could I do?
I went back to my notes from the dietitian that I had met with when I was pregnant with Baby #2. I had actually lost a few pounds while pregnant just following her advice, so why not start there? I started to make the tiniest little adjustments to what I was eating. Measuring out the creamer I used in my coffee, finding alternatives to ranch dressing, and minding my portions overall.
The biggest impact was cutting back on soda, and eventually giving it up. I still tell my clients that this was harder than quitting smoking, as the headache I had for that first week was killer. The weight that dropped off was significant and after that first week, I felt more energized than ever.
But after giving up soda, I stalled. My body seemed very happy at the new weight, getting real comfy and not really wanting to go anywhere else. I knew I had more to lose, but I was stumped.
After a few more small tweaks to my diet, it started to come off again, getting me down to a healthy range.
And then I quit smoking. And then I started teaching fitness classes for a living. And then I quit doing that and got a desk job. And then I had my do-over baby. And then I started dancing again. And then I stopped. And so on….
I’ll save you the narrated roller coaster ride that my weight has been on since quitting smoking. My weight fluctuates, that’s part of being a human (mostly part of being a female human). My weight also does not define ME or WHO I AM. What I will say is this: I consistently have to make choices that either serve me and my goals or work against them. I consistently have to check in with my core values to get into alignment so that I can continue to make choices that serve me. I consistently have to check in with my goals and set new ones so that I can continue to make choices that serve me.
Getting crystal clear on exactly what I want in my life, who I want in my life, and how I want to enjoy my life is the only thing that will help me keep the weight off.
Mindset is the most powerful tool we have. Mindset will keep you exactly where you are, even if you’re miserable there. Mindset will propel you forward in an upward growth pattern if you learn how to use it properly and to your advantage. Mindset will make or break you.
Most of my clients say to me, “I need to lose weight. Can you help?” If we look a little deeper, they come to me because they are tired of feeling tired. They are in pain, they hate the way they look, the way they feel, and they want to love life again but don’t know where to start.
If we look even deeper, we can see that they feel unappreciated, unsupported, alone, and they’ve felt that way for a long time. They lose their patience with their kids. Their marriage isn’t where they want it to be. They hate their job, can’t find one, or don’t even know what skills they possess to land one. They don’t have the confidence to say NO to the things they really don’t want to do. They don’t have the confidence to say YES to themselves and the things they really want to do. They feel trapped in their own lives, often feeling like they put themselves there and this is just the way things are supposed to be.
They starve themselves all day, on purpose or because that busy badge is too heavy to bother eating, and then gorge at night, feeling guilty and ashamed the next morning. They can say out loud the things they know will help them to feel more alive, but can also talk themselves right back into why those things won’t work for them. They will tell me all the barriers they see to changing. They will tell me all the reasons why the traditional methods won’t work, and why they can’t justify spending time and energy on themselves.
They are me.
I can sit and talk about the value of eating vegetables and exercise and I can do it well. However, why would I do that to someone who is still recovering from the sugar coma of last night’s pantry binge? They already feel like shit because they know that choice didn’t get them any closer to their desired outcome. They don’t need to hear more shame-inducing lectures about kale and burpees. They need support and guidance, someone who can sit on the floor with them, listening to their pain…and then give them an arm and help them back up, one movement at a time.
Need an arm?
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